I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
