I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
mondays should just be called national damage control day
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
