I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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