Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize