I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
