This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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