Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
