Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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