i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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