I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
