Soap is not a condiment
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
