i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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