Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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