Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
