if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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