everyone is single if you try hard enough
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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