know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
