So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
