ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
