I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
BRING THE BAGELS
I love you. Go after that dick
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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