chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize