I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize