I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
