Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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