i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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