would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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