remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
