Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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