he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just gargled with NyQuil
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
