Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
