i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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