According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
