is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
