It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Randomize
