i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
