Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
