Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
