does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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