Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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