Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
