Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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