I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize