stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
be right there i have to get my cape
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
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