Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
