Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
