the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
my phone needs a breathalizer
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
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