I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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