I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
