Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
