So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
