I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
