Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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