I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
