I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize