Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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