I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
