why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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