So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
