No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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