Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
soo... how was my night?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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