woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
God I need to hump something, right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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