I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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