Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
