I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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