she looked like the before picture.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
