He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
