you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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