from now on my penis is your penis
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
