Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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