I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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