I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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