omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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