Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
