Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize