They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize
