i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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