he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
