I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
